2025-10-15

• listened to Yo Gabba Gabba on NPR's Tiny Desk Concert. it is very nostalgic, but it also rocks SUPER hard. favourite track was Party in my Tummy (feat. Thundercat).
• another Tiny Desk Concert i listened to was 31 Minutos, the songs from which i cannot stop singing in my head and out loud. it is fantastic fantastic fantastic, and you should listen to it. favourite track all of them. go listen to it now. i did cry to the last one.
• rewatched Fight Club (1999) with a friend who didn't know the twist. it's a good movie! i forgot how strange and stilted the editing on it is.
• studying-wise i am a slight bit stressed about the upcoming tests, but i hope to stay calm and study without panicking too much. it will be okay.

i will leave you with a quote by Aldous Huxley, from his 1932 novel Brave New World:

“I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.”

2025-09-29

toki! short lineup for a short week, but between preparing for tests and doing homework, i've had time to listen to (and to show!) a lot of music.

• listened to m b v by my bloody valentine while high. fantastic fantastic listen. shoegaze is quickly becoming my favourite music genre ever. my bloody valentine is the best music to listen to when being high and having lesbian sex 🙌 favourites: all of them all of them all of them. but mostly only tomorrow and in another way.
• also listened to Amber by Autechre, after a friend recommended me to them through four hours of infodumping. lovely :> favourite track: Further.
• listened to O Monolith by Squid. great rock! makes me think of Radiohead or, more flatteringly, The Strokes. can't wait to listen to the rest of their works. i liked Swing (In a Dream) and The Blades.

finally, one week late to rosh hashana and a week early for sukkot, i wish you a happy autumn 💜

2025-09-24

goedemorgen! our first month in university is going strong so far. the longer i spend here the more i understand that this was the right move, and that i will likely be okay.

• i made a new piece of art this month, detailing a recipe that is near and dear to my heart, including a story about me, it, and why i've had trouble sharing it. let me know if you try it :)
• i remade my résumé (or i guess i should start calling it my Curriculum Vitae) to be neater, newer and more comprehensible. relatedly:
• i have been looking for part-time job or internship through the university, to no luck so far. i've promised myself not to panic about work until the end of october, but i'd like to figure something out before then. my inbox is open :>
• i've noticed i haven't made poetry in the past three months. i should change this. i should also start writing down these notes as i have ideas instead of dumping my brain once a month.

onward!

2025-08-27

good morning! we have been very busy this past month as well, but it is all good, because:

• i have successfully moved to the netherlands! i live further away from uni than i'd like to, but i'll manage for now. most everything has been successfully sorted and i have done a wonderful job acclimating to the country. i already start every day by going to the bakery.
• university starts soon! i'm excited. i've already made a couple of train trips to the city to make sure i'm familiar with the schedule.
• i've made a new friend! by complete happenstance i met someone local through a mutual online friend and we've had a great time getting to know each other. bowling was awesome :>
• over the past year or so i've been filing various self-care things away behind the crutch of i'll get to it when i move. i am happy to report that i have in fact successfully done all of those things the moment i was settled in!
• started reading Israel/Palestine and the Queer International while high. have not touched it since page ten because i'm scared.

2025-07-16

• relistened to Hail to the Thief by Radiohead again. man, did Thom Yorke fall off hard.
• rewrote aum (the SSG powering this website) in Go, from very dense and very janky C99 that i wrote while manic. it should be possible to add RSS and a sitemap more easily to it soon.
• life-wise: slow, slow, steady progress.

2025-06-30

• apologies for no update earlier this month. i was simultaneously extremely busy and doing absolutely nothing.
• i moved back in with my parents for now, while i'm still looking for a place in the netherlands. still haven't found one.
• the war hasn't done good for my overall mental health, with a lot of things on my calendar getting cancelled and overall delaying my eventual move out of this place.
• trying to keep a positive mental attitude. this, too, shall pass.

2025-05-31

• busy month! i'm preparing to move out of this house and eventually into a house in the netherlands. haven't found one yet, but i'll figure that out eventually.
• didn't have much time to listen to music, but i did listen to my wife's fantastic debut album, LifePuppet by nocturnnne. give it a shot!
• it feels weird to think that almost all of my life fits in just a couple of suitcases.

2025-05-13

• i quit my job this month, after just over 13 months of working there. i am now a full-time prospective student!
• i started a new project: movienight, a small Letterboxd clone. i have an instance running on movies.single-threaded.net. it is invite only — reach out if you'd like an invite!
• listened to 1000 gecs by 100 gecs, and wasn't particularly moved by any of the songs. still, i think this is pretty much required reading for hyperpop. favourite songs, i guess: 745 sticky, gecgecgec.
• listened to Aja by Steely Dan. the first four tracks are wonderful, though i must admit i kinda drifted off after them. favourite songs: Aja, Peg.
• i've been feeling really good the past couple of days. i managed to fix my upside-down sleep schedule that i've had for the weeks prior, and now i'm going to sleep early and waking up early, just how i wanted! my dreams are very weird, though. it might be the estrogen.

2025-04-27

• this website now mostly runs off my new static site generator, aum. i've decided i want to understand more of the tools i use, by writing them myself, and this is the first step. it's not entirely ready yet — it's missing a sitemap, and RSS support — but it's ready enough to run this website off of.
• i have sent in my resignation letter, and i am going to quit my job next month. i am going to study applied mathemathics in the netherlands! i've been very excited about this and i'm excited that it's finally real and guaranteed enough to announce here.
• haven't had the chance to listen to any music this time.

2025-04-13

• i went to the netherlands, to hang out with a friend. my time there was wonderful and i enjoyed it very much. the trains are nice (although expensive), the view is beautiful (although flat), and the language has proven to be pretty easy to get used to.
• listened to the eponymous La Máquina de Hacer Pájaros album, after listening to the band's Peliculas a few weeks ago. i think i like prog rock!
• these past few weeks have been spent away from work, and i feel refreshed, though i wouldn't say i'm exactly ready to go back. nevertheless, time marches on, and tomorrow i go back to work.
• i have some big life-changing stuff in the works! updates will be issued when i have anything final to say — i'm not making the canada mistake again :P

2025-03-30

• these past two weeks have been hard. canada's been officially given up on by work, and we're scrambling to find something else to do to get out of here.
• i made a little narrative game that captures my thoughts and feelings right now pretty well. give it a go if you're okay with themes of suicidal ideation.
• no other things to report.

2025-03-15

• San Francisco was fantastic. we met with so many friends and had such a good time. we finally felt alive for the first time in months... and we also felt how it is to die again when we got back to occupied palestine.
• this month is tilde30.3! a communal thing on tilde town where everyone picks a project to do. my project is to continue my train photography endeavour.
• i've started uploading rips of VCR parties over to the Internet Archive. it makes me feel like i'm doing something important, it's fun to do, and it's also fun to look back at all those streams. immense thanks to vilmibm for giving me access to their personal server for this.
• in SF i went up a lot in weight, from 49.5kg to about 54.5kg. i'm happier than i've ever been with my body :>
• i've decided to passively give up on canada and see if i can move somewhere else. of course, if the opportunity arises, i'll move there, but europe seems faster, and the most important thing for me right now is to move out. i can't stand the idea of having to go and see old friends.
• finished reading Ra by qntm. fantastic book. i'm in love with qntm's style of writing, the unreliable narrator, and the fact that the characters are always as informed as i am. wonderful read from start to finish — i'm definitely getting a tattoo about it.
• rail project: went to Bnei Brak, Hod HaSharon, Kfar Saba, Petach Tikva, Ra'anana, Rosh HaAyin, TLV Uni, and Herzliya stations. proud of myself.
• i'm happy you replied.

2025-02-27

• this month is my month. it's been so good so far.
• ashe has a new partner! a dollfriend :]
• rail project: went to Ben Gurion Airport
• we're in San Francisco again! this time i have an itinerary, so i'm not going to be dissociated for three months like last time. it's also a lot shorter of a trip, and we have friends to meet up with.
• i went thrifting!! i have so many cool shirts now :>
• i did weed :D weed's so awesome :] weed is great i love my friends and i have never felt so much like aoife in my life!!!
• listened to Ghostholding by venturing. it's a good album! it's definitely what i would have thought a Jane Remover rock project would sound like. favourite songs: Recoil, Dead forever.
• we also have a new headmate!

2025-02-09

• listened to for the rest of your life by twikipedia. it's... i have trouble putting into words how this album makes me feel. it's a fantastic album and i need more time to figure out what it means to me. favourite tracks: seams, figure me out.
• canada has been delayed again, this time for a couple of months. i am looking into different avenues with which to escape this hellhole.
• i'm going to go to san francisco again, soon. this time i won't be so dissociated.
• it's getting lonely here. i'm scared of going outside and seeing familiar faces

2025-01-24

• listened to Move by Hadag Nahash. fantastic album, didn't expect it to be nearly as good as it was. fun, funky, and important. favourites: The Strawberry Machine, Bella Belisima, Gabbie & Debbie.
• listened to Census Designated by Jane Remover. this is a great album, and i'm sad the shape of my trauma doesn't match it, otherwise this would be a 10/10. favourite tracks are Holding a Leech, Idling Somewhere, Fling.
• the stuff going on in the usa has me stressed and unproductive. i feel guilty for not going through the same stuff and not helping, but also stupid for caring so much about something that doesn't affect my life.
• i'm scared of not moving to canada. i'm going to have to have some uncomfortable discussions, and growth doesn't happen in three months.

2025-01-14

• listened to a lot of music! i'm happy.
• listened to CHROMAKOPIA by Tyler, The Creator, late last year. fantastic album, made me feel connected to this person whose music i'm listening to for the first time in a way that not many albums do. favourites are Judge Judy and Hey Jane.
• listened to Small Talk by Yehonatan Geffen and band late last year, as well. some of the songs are very good, but i don't think Geffen knows how to pad his albums out with anything but 4 minutes of dry talking about how he's going to fondle some woman's boobs. favourite songs: Bedouin Love Song, It'll Be Okay - Peace Song No. 349a.
• listened to SCRAPYARD by Quadeca. wow, what a fantastic album. i'm writing this a couple of days after the first listen, because it took me a long while to fully let it simmer. i'm very excited to go give it a second, maybe a third listen soon, because the production is very good and i feel like i missed a whole lot of tiny details. favourites: GUIDE DOG, WAY TOO MANY FRIENDS.
• joined tilde.town and set up a little homepage. if you're there, say hi! i've idled on IRC for about two weeks and already feel right at home. i managed to sneak a thing into last year's zine, which has been syndicated on this website, as well.
• rail project: went to Tel Aviv — Savidor Central station, Karmiel station, Haifa — Bat Galim station.
• canada news!
• 2024 was a good year, but 2025 is going to be even better.

2024-12-20

• today's my 20th birthday. 🎂 i would have liked to spend it somewhere else, but at least i'm spending time with folks i love.
• i've been annoyingly sick for the past two weeks, and haven't had the time to start the rail project just yet. maybe in january!
• after 3 weeks of radio silence, canada stuff is moving again. i found out about a Mount Eerie concert happening in vancouver in february, so i hope i can get there in time to cry live.

2024-12-04

• made this page, finally. i've been planning to start journaling in 2025, but i'm delaying my life enough as it is. hopefully this will be a place to see what i've been working on.
doing some planning for the rail project. i think i might start it next week.
• still beckoning for canada, but bureaucracy is one hell of a mistress.